Family, teacher, basketball: One coach finds balance for success on, off the court

RICHMOND COUNTY, N.C. — Josh Calhoun and his older sister were inseparable at the age of six. Like many younger siblings growing up, they were best friends — connected at the hips. It wasn’t until his dad noticed that she was using him to practice her latest fashion and makeup designs that he decided it was time for a change.

Randy Alford, Josh’s stepfather, took him outside to throw the football around the yard, and since that day, sports have been a huge part of Josh’s life that would define him and the choices he made growing up. Two decades later, one choice led Josh on a path to return to Richmond Senior High School to be a teacher and basketball coach.

“My daughter was using her brother as a live doll,” laughed Malinda Alford as she told the story about her son and daughter. “Looking back today, I can’t believe how he let her do all those things to him, but you know what? She was his big sister, and they loved each other.”

Josh would do anything for his sister, Pebbles, who is now a social worker for two private schools in Lincolnton, NC. His mother said that bond forged 20 years ago is just as strong today.

Malinda said that moment when Randy and Josh played catch with the football was life-changing for a young boy and his parents — they just didn’t know it yet.  

“He found his passion at such a young age and never gave up,” she said. “He really found his calling and took every opportunity to excel at it. He was into every sport at a young age.”

Growing up, Josh wasn’t always focused on school and spent his days hanging out with friends. “I was young and wanted to have fun, but all that changed when I got into college. I

realized that school did matter, and education was serious,” he said.

After graduating from Richmond Senior High School in 2013, Josh played basketball at Pfeiffer University, a private university in Misenheimer, N.C.

“Basketball really changed my life,” Josh said. “It influenced me in a big, big way. I always grew up being a smaller player. I had to practice longer and harder than other taller players. I had to put more effort into the game than others.”

Things seemed to be going great with his life set to playing college basketball, but when Josh was in his sophomore year, a life-changing event could turn his plans upside down depending on the next choices he had to make.

His girlfriend was pregnant, and he had to tell his parents the life-changing news.

“I was scared,” he admitted. “What was I going to do? I didn’t know if I would stay in school or drop out.”

Josh’s mother said she was worried about him being able to raise a child at such a young age and with a promising college basketball career and future ahead for him.

“I told Josh that he could quit school and join the Army or keep going to college and play basketball,” she said. “Either way, I was going to be there for him. It’s family. He just had to make the hard choice to do the right thing. I knew he would do what’s best for his son.”

Josh had an important decision to make as a 20-year-old. Fortunately, he had an incredible support system in place — family.

“I was lucky to have my parents and older sister help me through it all,” he said. “It’s because of my family that I had the opportunity for a life with my son and me. At that point, I realized there was something much bigger than me. I started to think about both of our lives and realized that I had to put him first every time.”

On Sept. 1, 2015, Joshua Jr. was born, and the father-son relationship was inseparable. Single father and young son. He went on to graduate college and eventually returned to where his passion for basketball started — home.

“Once a Raider, always a Raider,” he said about the opportunity to inspire young men on and off the court. He said to be able to walk the same hallways and stand on the same basketball court as he did as a student was a gift from God.

Richmond Raider junior varsity basketball games aren’t the biggest crowd in town, with just a few family members and the JV cheerleaders in the stands, but for him, the size of the crowd is not proportionate to the size of effort and heart of his players on the court.

“I teach my players that it is their passion to do their best and to have fun,” he said. “They have to love the game to truly enjoy it. It’s not the points or stats they will remember most, but the friendships and memories they create in high school that matter the most.”

He admitted that being a teacher wasn’t always something he wanted to do. He wanted to be a basketball coach somewhere. He was getting a degree in physical education and a minor in coaching. After his son was born, all that changed, and it wasn’t until his last year in college that he wanted to be a teacher.

“I love this job,” he said but admitted his first day teaching, he was incredibly nervous and had thoughts he wouldn’t be a good teacher. Those thoughts and nervousness have all but disappeared, and now teaching is his calling. “During the day, I get to mentor students and have those important, hard conversations that will hopefully help these young men and women make the right life decisions to be better people, graduate a Raider, come back and help grow this community.”

Calhoun, a first-year teacher, said those life lessons are the foundation of how he inspires his students and his basketball players.

“They need to realize that education does matter,” he said. “The discipline of learning is not easy, but it will help them prepare for college and life afterward. We want our students to be successful. We want to see them graduate and go do great things.”

To an outsider, being a teacher may seem easy, and with summers off, but to those who get up each morning to teach, it’s anything but that. Long evenings grading papers and responding to late-night questions about homework can strain a teacher. It’s a balance of family and school that makes teaching special.

Calhoun said his biggest motivation to wake up and teach is his son. For him, teaching is more than just a classroom experience.

“I just realized what I went through growing up, and I want my son to have those same impactful teachers who care about teaching,” he said. “I know that I can be a positive influence on our student’s lives. We have a lot of great students here in Richmond County. They just have to believe in themselves, and someone believes in them.”

Outside the classroom and off the basketball court, Calhoun mentors around a dozen students to help them navigate life as young adults, much like his parents and big sister did in his sophomore year of college. Someone to have those difficult, honest conversations they may not be able to have with family and friends.

“Once you realize these children have feelings just like we do as adults and sometimes working through them alone, you want to be there for them,” he said. “I love my job and being able to come here and listen to their stories and realize what they were going through every day. You want them to realize that life gets hard, but they don’t have to go through it alone.”

Calhoun said he didn’t realize how big of an influence teachers had on his life until he returned to Richmond to teach.

“Some of those same teachers that helped me grow up to be the person I am today, I’m working with right now,” he said with a big smile. “I plan on being that same influence on my students.”

That influence crosses over to the basketball court and his players.

“I want these young men to realize that there is more to life than basketball and their actions off the court have consequences in life,” he said.

Those actions were tested recently when two students decided to skip a practice. Two players had to sit out for one-half of an important game. It didn’t matter the importance of the game, whether it was a playoff game or against a rival.

“First and foremost, our student-athletes have to realize they are accountable for their actions,” he said. “Playing basketball for Richmond is a privilege that comes with sacrifices. I will hold my players to a higher standard because they represent our school and county.”

In the stands at each home and away game is Josh’s parents. Supporting their son as they have done since the age of nine. Cheering him on through wins and losses.

“Josh is a special person,” Malinda said. “To watch him grow up to the man that he is today brings tears to my eyes every time see him coach on the sidelines. How he reacts when a player makes a mistake is the same as when they score a point.”

His mother said it doesn’t matter what the score is at the end of the game but rather how they play the game and do it with integrity.

“He treats his players the same way he would want to be treated,” she said. “He’s a father figure to them and has developed that same relationship with them as he has with his son. These players are his family, and he wants them to be respectful on and off the court and play with pride. Josh is a Richmond Raider for life, and hopefully, his students and players will see that when they are around him.”